Friday, 24 July 2009

Haunting

So I was on my way home last night and I was driving down the street (I'm not saying where cause let's face it I don't think it's that relevant.)
Heading home and I pass two cars on the side of the road, a man in the road directing traffic around the cars and, two people hugging and crying about 10 feet away from him. I assumed "my god car accident" and I saw what I thought at first was a dog or a deer or something like that and thought they had hit and killed this creature. It wasn't an animal, the image is emblazoned into my head, it was a person and I'm pretty sure they were dead. It didn't register at first cause they had this person half covered with a jacket or something like that and I was trying not to look and cause another crash. But I am certain that was a person on the side of the road. I am not sure if there was a car accident or this person was walking down the road and got hit. There was damage to one of the cars but not the other (at least not that I could tell.) My husband tells me that I need to concentrate on the road and be thankful that it isn't me or some one I love. But that person was some one that some one else loved and I can't imagine the pain that they are going through right now. I know that I've been to funerals and seen family and friends in caskets and they are (obviously) and sadly dead. But there is something surreal about seeing a dead body out of context like that. I can't even comprehend being in their shoes and being there and witnessing that. The doctors and nurses that are faced with the possibility of some one dying on their floor on a daily basis, I couldn't deal with that, I don't think I could sleep at night. I know that it wouldn't be my "fault" if I were a nurse and some one died on my watch but for real, I'm trying to handle what I saw and process it and I feel that if I write it down it might help. If you are disappointed in this post or think I should not have written it I am not sorry no one is forcing you to read this blog. If you are the family of that person and you have some how stumbled upon my blog I am SO sorry, I can't imagine what you are going through but I hope that you some day make it through this tragedy.

2 comments:

Kate said...

I think it's the shock of witnessing something so private, the invasion on their life at such a vulnerable moment, that makes it so chilling. Most people (but not all, unfortunately) have a sensitivity toward those who are grieving; we want to comfort, but we also want to leave them alone to cry and mourn. But because they were in such a public place, there was no way to not look.

I'm just guessing because that's how I would have felt.

Julie said...

Yes to all of the above, it was frightening and as it turns out you probably read about it in the paper, that woman who was walking down betts and got hit, that's the one. I felt bad looking and obviously the people I thought were family were probably the people who hit her, I'm sure they were still in shock but I couldn't help but see what I saw. and think my god what the hell just happened here. It was no good at all.